Tag: vulnerability

a note to my lover

if i weren’t afraid of being sappy, i would tell you about how i feel right now. the mellow, slow swirling of your energy still moving all through my limbs and torso and pelvis. the way i still feel your delightful skin touching every inch of me. how delicious it felt to slide my naked body up against your sleeping warmth after my shower this morning, and how deeply loved i feel by you. 

vulnerability is my greatest strength and weakness. you receive my love so beautifully. trusting you to not use this to your own ends, as so many have done (wittingly and unwittingly), feels alternately elating and terrifying. but i have chosen to make trust and vulnerability a practice. and i have chosen you. 

i have chosen you.

xoxo

regarding vulnerability

vulnerability is frightening. the feelings of allowing and letting go that are necessary preludes to giving in to vulnerability feel counter-cultural. letting go means anything might happen. it involves trusting ourselves and holding space for anything that arises. we are afraid of our own shadows, what so-called dark desires and impulses might lie beneath our shiny veneers.

each time i post on this blog i feel afraid. even posting anonymously, i feel fears of rejection, old self-shaming responses, massive questioning of putting my raw words out on the internet for anyone and the nsa to read, fear of being a “bad” writer, of being laughed at… of being as insignificant and silly as my inner critic has always told me i am.

fuck it. i dare greatly now. i work each day to be gently courageous in all i do. to take myself seriously enough to put my words out, and with enough humor and self-love to accept my imperfections as part of the beauty of who i am, to love and take pride in all my creative output, silly and insignificant though it may sometimes be.

dare greatly today. how can we better celebrate and show our gratitude for this amazing adventure of life?